Deal With It
by banana102283
Summary: "Earlier today he was hiding from someone behind a bush, lost his wand, lost his sanity, and now he was watching a cat-fight and eating popcorn, and frankly his life was spiraling out of control. Yeah... no." - chapter 7 awesomeness (Chapter one rewritten!)
1. Picnic

**Rewritten 6/5/13 **because it was bothering me. :P

Wassap newbies? Luayn (banana102283) here writing Deal With It, a series of oneshots where I tortu- sorry, _portray _the fantastic and vibrant adventures my wizards have and how they, er, _interact _with one another! Yeah, that sounds legit! Alright! Let's go!

(Note: Most of these, unless said otherwise, take place _after _the Malistaire plot line, because it's not like the adventure's done after that, right? Characters mentioned below appear in later oneshots.)

**Picnic**

I sighed, resting my elbows on the table before resuming my argument with the girl-wizard sitting across from me. "Well, I don't think-"

"Hey baby!"

Oh god.

Ceren Nightchant slid next to me on the wooden bench, bumping hips with me, and across from me, Ellie stifled a laugh. The traitor. Ignoring her, I took a bite out of my sandwich and tried to savor the taste before my appetite was spoiled.

Ceren Nightchant: Moolinda Wu suck up, egocentric idiot, and general pervert. Ever since day one of wizard-saving-the-spiral-ness and helping save the corrupted fairies, he's been trying to get me to date him. (Like some sort of... I'd compare him to something disgusting, but he's going to be worse, so I'm not even going to try.)

So he goes after anything remotely female in the area anyway. That doesn't mean I can't sock him in the gut, right?

"Awwww," he whined, putting his elbow onto the table and leaning in closer. "Don't want to talk to me, Ryan?"

No. And probably not for as long as I live. Reaching for the glass of water on the table, I took a sip.

"What happened to our date?"

I spit took and Ellie burst out laughing.

"_Excuse me?_" I asked, after wiping my face with a napkin. _Ellie, you're going to die, _I telepathed to her.

"Yeah, you know," Ceren waggled his eyebrows, "the date you've wanted since who knows when." _Sure, tell me that after your romantic evening with you-know-who, _Ellie retorted. Out loud, she muffled a laugh into the green sleeve of her cloak.

"Hypocrite," I said, edging away from him. "You're the one butting into our conversation with, 'Hey Ryan, let's go out!' every time we meet." Although I was the greatest at keeping up with double conversations, I chose not to reply to Ellie's remark and instead just glared at her.

"But that's only because you're the only girl for me!" he said, switching tactics. "You know I only have eyes for you!"

"Says the skirt-chaser," I muttered underneath my breath.

Ignoring my remark, he put his elbows on the table and leaned, causing the whole table to pitch back and forth. Drinks wobbled inside of their glasses, threatening to fall over. "I still remember the little girl who came here to save the fairies!" he said, punching his fist in the air. I resisted the urge to punch my fist in his face. Although, it would probably improve his looks. "And now you're all grown up..."

"I'm pretty sure you're only a year older than us...?" Ellie interrupted curiously.

Then, he shook his head, oblivious to the damage he was doing. My sandwich fell off of its plate onto the grass. Lunch ruined? Check. "Look baby," he said, ignoring my excuse as well as my sandwich, "I know you want to hang out with me, and I'm sorry, but I've got to do my work! Moolinda Wu depends on me!" He smiled. "You understand, right?"

"...You try to hit on me, then say you're 'busy'," quote-quote, "for Moolinda Wu."

"Oh no, I'm not cheating on you with her!" he cried, clasping my hands. "I only love you!"

"..." Words were failing me. Slowly, I pulled my hands away from his. Ellie had turned away now, shaking.

Seeing that I was speechless, he amended, raising both of his hands, "Sure, I do everything she asks, but it's more for my reputation, you know? Good grades, good job, good future? Teacher-student relationship only, I swear. Nothing else! No, uh, girlfriend-boyfriend stuff, like, inviting her into my room-" He paused. "Well, I do give her some plants sometimes- But," Ceren blurted, "but that's because she's the gardening teacher too, right, so she needs to check up on our plants, it's not like I'm giving her an anniversary present or anything-"

"...Please, go away, and never come back." I thought I had faced enough, saving Wizard City, Krokotopia, Marleybone, Grizzleheim, Moo-Shu, and Dragonspyre. Now, I realized I was wrong. Life really loved to torture me.

"You don't believe me?" he cried. "Ellie, do you see this? She thinks I'm cheating on her!"

Ellie had to breathe in and out a couple times before answering. Lips quirking up, she said with a raised eyebrow, "You're denying it a lot."

As Ceren began to vehemently deny her implied accusation, I telepathed, _Oh sure Ellie. Don't defend me, oh no no, of course not. Especially when I'm the one who packed our lunches._

_Oh, but I couldn't help myself. And your sandwiches are always the best, _she replied, munching on a ham and cheese one I had painstakingly made earlier this morning.

_Yeah, well you can starve tomorrow! _Ceren didn't listen to me, and Ellie didn't even try to help me out. Although, Ceren was expected. I put my head on the table and groaned. Where was everyone else when I needed them?

"-and I swear I have better taste in presents, I won't give you any plants! Look, I'll get you, uh, earrings and..." He looked at me. "Necklaces? Makeup? Bracelets?" He leaned closer. "...Socks?"

Suddenly he grinned devilishly. "Oh, I know what you want now. Maybe if we go somewhere else more _private,_ you can have an early birthday with me, free of charge." He winked. "I wouldn't miss Moolinda to be with you for a day, doll."

Doll? I looked up with half-lidded eyes, obviously needing to clarify this. "Ceren, if you're getting me anything for a birthday present," he leaned in eagerly, waiting for my response, "get me as far away as possible from you."

Instead of leaning back like I had been desperately hoping for, he leaned in close enough for me to feel his breath on my face. I choked on my sandwich. "But wouldn't you just come crawling back for me?"

I punched him in the gut, and breath rushing out of him, he fell off of the bench and onto the wood of the pavilion. Ellie looked amused and I grinned, taking another bite of my sandwich. Score!

Ceren coughed. "Feisty, huh...?" he wheezed. Finally, after me ignoring him for a bit, he dragged himself over and collapsed the entire front part of his body onto the bench."Don't deny your love for me, come oooon," he huffed. "Can't you see I'm right here, waitin' for ya babe?"

Pushing his hood off, he flicked his brown hair back and gave me a bright smile. "What could you possibly have to lose?"

Virtually. Everything. I just found his flirting techniques creepy, and even Ellie seemed alarmed.

If I could just... Taking a deep breath, I summoned every single fiber of charm I had. In what was probably a bizarre change in personality and fluttering my eyelashes, I said sweetly, "Hey, maybe... could you tell me about that time you rescued that fairy from, um, what's-his-name-"

Ceren didn't even look surprised I asked, which I figured."Oh, you want to hear about that?" He shrugged, leaning back, probably thinking that he had me hooked (eww), and gave me another one of his smiles. "It wasn't a big deal, really, but I know it's such an interesting tale, and I just know you wouldn't be able to resist-"

As he continued to talk about whatever stupid thing he had done, I glared at Ellie as clearly as I could, making sure she got the message. _Save. Me._

She laughed. _Oh no. I'm having fun watching this._

"-and then the fairy was like, 'Someone, help me!', so I sprinted over, jumped over some trees and stuff-" Ceren was saying.

I made an exasperated face. _Come on! Please?_

_Mmm... no thanks._

_What happened to friendship? Trust? Stick up for your peers? Report sightings to an adult?_

_Isn't that what the teachers said about bullying?_

_Oh, no. They were talking about harassment - for example, now...!_

"-and suddenly, me and the skeleton were locked in an epic battle to the death, and there was blood trailing down my arm but I didn't notice as I hoisted my sword in the air-"

_You always tease me about stuff Ryan - so just let me enjoy this for a little longer! _

_I'm sure we could have lots of fun somewhere else - like maybe the Commons? Can't we move there? There are a lot of witnesses there-_

_But it's nice over here!_

_-oh, you know, Ceren can even come! We can just, tie him up, put him on the carousel in the Fairegrounds, get a videorb-_

_Haha. Tempting, but no thanks._

_Or, maybe, burn him at the stake - let me just call Kieran, he'd be willing-_

"-'Who's there?' I cried, waving my torch around. I carried the limp, unconscious fairy in my arms, begging desperately for her to stay alive while I found my way through the misty cave-"

A cave? How did we even get here? Smiling at Ceren, I kicked her leg underneath the table, and she narrowed her eyes at me.

_What was that for?_

_I can't deal with him! Please! I'll make it up to you!_

_No._

_Please?_

_No._

"Come on, ladies!" Ceren said, interrupting our mental conversation. It seemed like he was done with his dramatic story, his eyes flitting back and forth between me and her trying to figure out what we were saying.

"Although," he added with a roguish smile, "if you're trying to choose which one of you gets me, I can always share!"

You know what, forget this!

I stood up rigidly, my fists balled. "I'm leaving." Swiping my sword up from the bench, I headed towards the Commons tunnel. I felt bad, but I could always see her later, right?

"Aw, but honey, you can't leave me hangin'~!" he cried, jumping up too. He caught up with me and twisted me around to face him.

I smiled as warmly as I could. "Aw, but honey-" But instead of finishing my sentence, I stepped on his foot, yanking my arm out of his grasp as he yelped in pain. "-I am."

He tried to follow me as I made my way down the road. "Don't you want to hang out with me some more?" Ceren spun his staff like a baton, then leaned against it, tilting his hand back. "I've saved more fairies then you can count!" he claimed, as if that was a good enough reason.

I snorted. "Right, like I haven't saved the entire freakin' Spiral with my friends from Malistaire. Sure, pretend that didn't happen!" My silver eyes flashed, and he looked nervous. "Pretend I actually care about you saving those fairies - if the number's even more than five - and that I haven't done at least a hundred times what you have done. Pretend you have a chance of dating me too, and see how that works out."

"So you're dumping me, babe, before I have a chance to-" Ceren grinned, "-work my magic?"

Work my magic, my butt. Gritting my teeth, I drew the ice sign with my sword, channeling the water and cold in the air. He realized what I was about to do and sprinted forward too late, only to recieve a large ice wall in his face as the water molecules came together and froze. I twirled my sword and slipped it into its sheath on my belt. Tinted a sparkling clear blue, it broke through the paved stone road; harsh, jagged crystals of ice slicing through the air and up to the height of the trees from one side of the street to another that prevented Ceren from following me anymore.

I grinned. "You mean like this?" I shouted through the ice. I could see his blurry dark form from the other side. Versatile! Not only used for slicing right through monsters, but also a good shield! Shaking my head, I turned around. At this point, I was too ticked off to worry about messing up Unicorn Way, but no one but Ellie was there to witness the damage. Besides, it'd melt later.

(Uh, probably. Most of the time when I used this, I was busy destroying stuff or people, so I never bothered to come back and check whether it had melted.)

Behind the wall, Ceren shouted something, but I was already too far down the tunnel to hear it. I whistled.

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"So," Ceren said, plucking an icicle off his cloak, "Babe, not like I had any eyes for her-" Ellie raised her eyebrows, "-but now that she's gone, you won't have any more competition. I know, I know," he said suddenly, raising both of his hands, "friendship and all that, but she'll never know! You won't be betraying her - we could just, what you could say, _have some fun_ while she's gone. I'll never tell!"

"Come on, want to be a doll for me and go on a date with me while we're both stuck here?" He waggled his eyebrows and lifted his elbow, obviously hoping she'd slip hers in. "An early birthday present for the special birthday girl!"

Ellie leaned forward from her position to slap him on the face.


	2. Bizarre

**Bizarre**

The man loomed over the two children menacingly, and unconsciously they both took a step back.

Logan leaned towards the boy next to him. "Chris? Is he... Can you trust this guy?"

Chris shrugged. "Probably not," he whispered back.

At the younger boy's horrified look, he tried to reassure him with a small grin. "But he's has, basically, everything. And all we have to do is get in, buy your cloak as quickly as possible, and get out. Simple."

That failed to convince him. "When I said shopping," he hissed, "I didn't mean go to some shady guy in a uninhabited building in the middle of nowhere-"

His sentence was cut off with the man's dramatic sweep of an arm. "Welcome!" he boomed. Standing up proudly, the man shouted with a smile (because the smile was what counted, not the spit flying all over his face), "What brings you to the great Bazzar?"

Logan wiped the spit off his face as Chris declared, "We have come to buy a cloak!" He spread both his arms out as dramatically as the man's.

In a smaller volume, he added, "Actually, Logan has. I'm just a bystander."

Head held up high, he marched through the doors and fled the building, leaving Logan to deal with a who-knows-how-crazy man wearing an apron by himself.

_I need better friends,_ Logan thought, partially to himself and partially to Chris. _Ones that, I don't know, don't ditch me with weird guys-_

_You're welcome!_ Chris interrupted jovially. _Remember the plan!_

_You're welcome?!_

But obviously, Chris had decided that the conversation was over, because he didn't get a reply back.

Logan was busy cursing his senior and wondering how long he'd be able to survive when the man boomed, "Hmm! Haven't seen you as of yet!" Kneeling down, he glared looked at him carefully, and the boy squirmed. Logan could already see the disappointment in his eyes at his unkept brown hair and freckles.

But then again, at least he had hair. And good looks. Logan made a mental note not to wear brown aprons, chains on his wrists, glasses, and flags on his back. How did this guy walk around anyways, with two giant poles sticking out from behind him?

Interrupting his thoughts, the man said, "What's your name, wizard?"

"Logan. Logan DuskPyre." He stuck his hand out to shake.

That was a mistake. Grabbing his hand, the man shook him fiercely, and it took him all his effort and willpower not to stumble to the ground. Or vibrate.

"Elik Silverfist, at your service!" he shouted enthusiastically - way too enthusiastically for a man selling secondhand items in the middle of nowhere. Logan was suspicious. For all he knew, he might be in some huge prank. And, if that was the case, then secretly Chris and Elik were either laughing their butts off at him, or recording this for all of Wizard City, Krokotopia, and a few dozen other worlds to see. As he was further embarrassed, of course. It definitely sounded like a Chris-like thing to do.

Or maybe, this guy was just not normal. He had met a lot of people who weren't normal here.

When he was finally done torturing him, Logan massaged the hand that had been stuck in his vice-like grip. He was pretty sure it was broken. "Yeah... Can I, uh, get my cloak now?"

When Elik-man made no attempt to move, he said, "I need to go somewhere soon," to his dorm, "to go do something important," which was sleep, "so..." hurry up!

Walking to the far back of the room, the man peered behind his desk, apparently looking for something. Over the sounds of various clothes and things being tossed around, he yelled, "Where you off to, in such a hurry? Somewhere with a lot of monsters, I suppose?

"Uh..." Logan decided that he had not thought this particular lie through. He had no clue what the names of the roads were in Krokotopia, and obviously he wasn't going to Unicorn Way or Firecat Alley either. "The... The Road?"

Erik paused, lifting his head to peer at him suspiciously. "Hmm. I've never heard of that road before," he said dryly. "What town does it lead to?"

"..."

Logan had learned a while ago that it was best not to answer in these situations.

Luckily any further comment the man was going to make was forgotten with an exclamation of "Aha!" and the sound of wheels and a door sliding open.

Next thing he knew, the floor stopped existing, and Logan was falling down from twenty feet in the air.

And next thing after that, he was hitting his head on various parts of the stairs, and then the railing and the walls, and then he was crumpled on the floor.

"Are you okay?" Elik shouted from the top of the secret passageway.

"No!" Logan's head was throbbing, and he was aching in several places that definitely shouldn't be aching. And his hand was probably still broken. He was not okay.

Apparently, Elik took that as an okay (of all people Chris had to ditch him with, it had to be this guy?) and strolled casually to the bottom.

"There were stairs, you know!" he remarked. "Instead of jumping down, I'd suggest you use them!"

"Jumping down?" Logan exclaimed, stiffly picking himself up. Wobbling standing on one foot to hold his throbbing ankle, he cast a minor blessing to fix it up before looking up at Elik. "You thought - jumped down - me?" he sputtered. "Do I look like the kind of person who enjoys jumping off flights of stairs?"

"Yes!" Elik immediately answered. He almost put his head in his hands. God, the nerve of this guy!

Ignoring him, Logan walked forward through the brick-lined hall, noting how the torches flickered and splayed shadows across the walls, and how his boots clacked against the stone floor. Striding up quickly to catch up to the wizard, Elik boomed, "Not many people have been through this way!"

His loud voice echoed to twice the volume it was before, and Logan winced, ears hurting. On the other hand, Elik didn't seem to mind. Obviously, he had heard it before.

Not bothering to quiet down, he continued, "I use this passage for storing all the items I get!" Suddenly, Elik emitted a belly-laugh as loud as his shouts, echoing off the walls around him. "Ha! Some people think I store them all with magic! No living wizard could do something as powerful as that! Haha! Can you believe..."

"..." That was exactly what Logan thought he did.

Elik examined him closely. "Did you think that-"

"No!" he said quickly, cutting him off before he could make some kind of insult. Which he obviously was. Then, just to make sure, he strode ahead (harder than it looked) of the heavyset man.

"I hope you know where we're going," he said as they passed through another intersection of hallways. Switching topics was the best course of action here.

"Of course I do!" This time, Logan didn't flinch at the volume. "Right now we should be in the cloaks section..." He stopped in front of an iron gate, pulling out a ring of keys from his apron pocket. Inserting a bronze key into a large padlock, he said, "And these are the cloaks for storm students."

Immediately the gate swung back like a battering ram and Logan almost yelped, jumping out of the way just in time. Elik casually walked into the room, not bothering to look behind him to see if Logan was okay.

Now he knew why this town was so empty.

"Thanks for warning me!" Logan snapped, following him. "That could've almost-"

"You're welcome!" Elik shouted joyfully.

Now it was Logan's turn to look at him closely. As far as he could tell, he sounded like he wasn't joking.

Seeing that Elik was busy pacing around the cloaks, and not wanting to follow him around everywhere, Logan leaned against the gray stone wall. He watched as the man occasionally paused, fingering a purple or yellow robe or two hanging from the metal racks along the edge of the room.

The wizard grew impatient. "Can I just-"

Without bothering to look, Elik held up a hand, and Logan halted mid-sentence. Inwardly, he huffed. Fine. Let the crazy guy do his thing. No big deal.

Finally, Elik glanced up, seeing Logan hanging uncertainly around the front of the room. "So you're still here," he mused. "Thought you would have left by now."

Logan narrowed his eyes. This guy was much more loony than he looked. "All this time, you weren't doing anything? Nothing at all? And now I have to-"

"Ah, just kidding. Here!" He tossed him a yellow and purple cloak stitched with storm symbols, and Logan caught it before holding up suspiciously to the torch light. The long material unfurled underneath it.

"How is it?" Elik questioned. Truthfully, it didn't look too bad. It seemed comfortable enough. And there was even a place to sheath his sword.

Then again, he was not about to make the same mistake twice. Last time he accepted a cloak (from Chris, of all people - no surprise there), he thought it looked pretty cool. Then he went in battle with it on.

Logan shuddered to think of the memory. That was one of the worst days of his life, he was pretty sure. And the unicorns just made it worse.

"It's... okay." There. A word that wasn't really good or bad.

Elik grinned. "Just don't go jumping down flights of stairs with that on!"

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"How long is this passage anyway?"

"It goes on for miles and miles..."

"Miles? Maybe you have free time - a lot of free time, now that I think about it - but _miles?_ How does _anyone_ dig a tunnel for miles-"

Elik stopped walking, doubling over in laughter. "Ahahaha! So you did - haha - believe me earlier!"

Logan glared daggers at him. Somehow, he knew he wasn't buying from the bazaar anymore.


	3. Wand

Thank you, two reviewers! Count 'em! Dos!

**Wand**

_"Kieran!"_

The piercing scream echoed throughout Cyclops Lane, and in the distance a flock of crows flew into the sky. Bones rattled, clubs were dropped, passing wizards winced visibly, and I turned a shade of beet red at the sound of my name being called. I froze, trying to locate the source of the scream.

I sighed. Good. It was only Paige. And she didn't seem to be in any trouble, so I could probably ignore it...

Then I did a double take. Was that... Chris? In a tree?

This was way too good to miss.

Strolling over (notably a wide berth around Paige, because you never knew with her), I shaded my eyes and looked up to see Chris's legs and cape dangling over the edge of a tree branch.

"What are you doing?"

Chris looked down to face the newcomer, grinning. "Sitting in a tree."

I crossed my arms. "Oh yes. Thank you for that insightful observation. I never could have - agh! What was that for?"

While I was talking, Paige had marched over and grabbed my arm (immediately cutting off the circulation in that area). Then, of course, she dragged me a couple feet over with the strength of a Grizzleheim bear. I glanced back at the path my heels dug out in the ground, rubbing my arm.

"Could you tell him," she hissed, anger flashing in her eyes, "how you took my wand straight out of my hand and then _climbed up a tree, wavi-"_

Chris waved his hands around epicly, cutting off whatever she was about to say. "So I was walking down Unicorn Way, when I saw Paige, out of all people, coming down this way. Could you believe it?" he asked excitedly, beaming like a six year-old. He seemed way too enthusiastic about his death, and I wondered if I should warn him.

Then I reconsidered. This was Chris we were talking about. Of course I shouldn't warn him.

"She was waving her wand around in her hands," he continued, "just asking for trouble. As if..." His voice decreased in volume, as if he was telling a scary story. "... as if she was threatening me."

"Excuse me?"

"Don't interrupt the story!" Chris's voice hushed down to a whisper again. "I walked over, closer and closer, preparing to strike when she least expected it..."

His hands went out, miming an explosion. "Then, BOOM! I grab her wand and run off. Behind me, Paige roared, and I blindly cast spells left and right, hoping to impale her. Somehow ending up corned against his exact tree, the monster-"

"Are you implying something?"

"I mean Paige, sorry - growled in anger, shouting and cursing, foaming in fury. I had nowhere left to run. Quickly, I scrambled up the tree in fear, trying to avoid her terrible wrath."

He made an ineffectual gesture with his hands. "So, here I am."

A pause.

"Kieran?" Paige asked sweetly.

"Yeah?" I asked suspiciously. Very suspiciously.

"Burn up the tree."

"Burn up the _what?"_

I whipped my head around to look at her. She was much more loony than I had originally thought.

Chris jumped in his seat, sending the branch beneath him pitching back and forth underneath him. If he rocked it any further, I was pretty sure the branch would come crashing down. "Maybe that's not the best idea Paige," he protested hastily. "I was only-"

She smiled like a wolf, clasping her hands together. "Well of course it isn't! Not for you!"

Paige paused, thinking. Then she added, "Kieran would agree. Right Kieran?"

Out of all the things she could say, she had to choose that one?

"Uh..." Paige and Chris were both looking at me with identical expressions - Paige's hands on her waist, and Chris tapping his foot against the trunk - waiting for an answer that I (probably) shouldn't give. I shifted nervously, trying to think of an answer that didn't offend someone.

In a futile attempt, of course. I already knew that if I agreed with someone, the other was bound to object. In fact, Paige was ready to object to whatever the slightest hint of indecision - whether I agreed or not.

Chris? Chris would question my friendship, undying loyalty and respect, then go for my stuff or blackmail me when I least expected it, of course. I have had experience.

The corners of Paige's mouth curled up in a small grin, and I glared at her. She knew exactly what what she did, didn't she? And she had to be enjoying it too. At that moment I decided that it wasn't a very good idea to interfere with other people's business, especially when Chris and Paige were involved.

"I think," I said slowly, stalling my answer, "that I would definitely agree with-"

Just then, I saw Ellie coming in and latched onto her like a lifeline. "Hey Ellie!"

She looked at me blankly. "Hey...?"

I grinned. "Chris stole Paige's wand, and Paige wants to set the tree on fire. What do you think?"

The smirk faded off Paige's face. Touché, Kieran, touché. Ellie pursed her lips, all too knowing what I was doing, and Chris swiveled on the tree branch to face her.

Without missing a beat, she immediately replied, "Burn up the tree."

"...What?" I was sure she would agree with Chris.

...and yes, I was hoping for the same reaction I had. But don't push it.

Ellie stuck her tongue out in Chris's direction, stopping him from raving about trust and partnership. "I don't mind if we're not friends, because you probably do deserve getting burnt to a crisp." Grudgingly, Chris closed his mouth. "And," she added, "you have nothing to blackmail me with, so-"

Paige grinned, slapping a high-five with her. "Ha! At least someone knows what they're talking about!" Ellie blinked, confused.

Chris nodded, pretending to agree. "Feeling the love, guys," he commented. "Totally feeling the-"

The fire returned to Paige's eyes, and unconsciously I took a step back. "My wand," she said, holding out a hand.

"What? The wand?" Chris swung a leg over so that both legs were crossed on the branch, leaning back. He barely looked terrified - in fact, he even managed to cross his arms behind him like a pillow. "I don't have it," he said nonchalantly, eyes closed.

Oh god. I knew Chris was stupid, but not that stupid. "You- What?" Paige took a step forward, furious. "What do you mean you-"

Suddenly she stopped herself, sucking in a deep breath. Then she clasped her hands together tight enough that her knuckles turned white, and smiled stiffly.

Looking like she was about to blow.

I whistled and Ellie watched with fascinated horror as Paige, reached down into her bag and pulled out a blade, the edges sparkling in sharp, icy blue dust. The sword was hand size, whistling as Paige pretended to slash it through the air, and the handle was a worn leather.

She tapped it with a fingernail, and the sound made was one of frozen ice.

Chris's face was already frozen in horror. "Could we, like, talk this out?" he asked fearfully, edging towards the end of the branch. "Murder isn't very good for your resume, and I suppose I wouldn't mind not being murdered myself-"

His sentence was cut off with a sickening crack from the tree. Before he could yelp, the branch broke off sideways, and Chris fell onto the ground. I watched as his bag flew up into the air in a graceful arc, then plummeted down, allowing most of his stuff to spill everywhere.

Chris stood up, brushing off his robe and grinning. "That was awesome!"

I crossed my arms, none surprised whatsoever. That's what you got when dealing with idiots.

Paige jumped in her spot before sprinting over, past Chris ("Thanks for worrying about my physical health!") to the pile of stuff that had suddenly accumulated a couple feet away from the branch. "Where is it?" she said, quickly riffling and tossing anything that didn't look like a wand. "He hid it, didn't he?"

I strolled over to Paige's side ("You too, Kieran? I would've expected it from Paige, maybe, but you?") and helped her sort through all the junk. Boots, amulets, soda, shorts, spell decks, candy wrappers, notebooks, hoods...

"Dude, seriously?" I dangled a pair of boxers in front of his nose. "And when'd you get glasses?" I added, holding up-

He snatched the glasses, stuffing them into his robe pocket. "Since this is a free city, I have the right not to answer that." He pivoted around on one foot and started to walk away.

Just as I was about to ask, he added, "But you can keep the boxers. I don't remember the last time I ever washed those."

I dropped the boxers.

"Chris!" Paige yelled. "Where's my wand?"

Wordlessly, he pointed toward the street. Paige put her hand over her mouth, trying not to scream, and I followed her gaze toward the street.

A troll, missing his club, was scratching his head dumbly with a stick. Or more specifically, Paige's wand.

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"You get it!"

"No, I'm not. This isn't even my problem."

"Come on! Just this once, please!"

"Nope. You're getting it. I'm leaving now."

"You're _leaving?_ What do you mean, _you're leaving?"_

"Goodbye Paige!"

"Wait- Stop- You can't- Kieran! Kieran, get back here-"

"Boxers? _Boxers?" _We turned to see Nolan Stormgate, nudging Chris's boxers with a boot towards the sidewalk. "Why are there a pair of _boxers _on the ground?"

He looked around. "Why is there stuff scattered everywhere? On my turf! Who did this?"

Paige put a hand on my back, turning me around and steering me forward. "Walk quickly," she hissed, "and don't look back."


	4. Halloween

WOAH WOAH WOAH WHY DID I GET SO MANY REVIEWS WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE _WHAT THE FUDGE IS GOING ON-_

Haha, but seriously, thanks to Kady35, Miss 20 Percent Cooler (YOU ARE AWESOME) and KitKat342! :3 *rubs hands together enthusiastically* Now all I have to do is reply to all of them!

...Eventually.

(By the way, this was supposed to be the HALLOWEEN SPECIAL, meaning it was supposed to come out on Halloween... yeah. But better late than never, right? I think that's how it goes. And I guess it helps that I've edited this over like ten times. :)

**Halloween**

"Quests for _fun?"_

Logan looked at him, eyes widened in pure horror. After running around doing errands for every single STUPID person in Wizard City (no, literally), he was pretty sure that fun and quests did not belong in the same sentence. Ever. "You have to be joking," he muttered, trying to convince himself that yes, Chris was joking. "You're joking, aren't you?"

Chris shook his head somberly. "Please. I'm not an idiot."

He paused at the incredulous look Logan was giving him, raising his hands in a gesture of peace. "I mean, yes, I know that some people,_ cough cough,"_ he said, giving him a pointed look, "know me as an idiot. But even if I was, I wouldn't be that kind of idiot."

Logan grudgingly admitted to himself that he did think Chris was an idiot. But that was only because he was one.

Chris trudged on, interrupting Logan's thoughts. "And no matter how much of an 'idiot' I really am," he said haughtily, quoting the word idiot with his fingers, "I don't think I would joke about having to run around streets all day, listening to scarecrow-men recite poems-"

_"What?" _

Immediately Logan whirled around, wanting to see Chris's face. In case he was joking. Which he was. Because there was no way-

According to the grim look on his face, he wasn't.

Logan felt like curling up into a ball of self-pity for the rest of the day. Instead, he slid down the hedge surrounding the Fairgrounds until he was in the same position Chris was in, putting his head in his hands. "Oh god no," he moaned. "No, no, no. I-"

He paused mid-sentence, thinking. There had to be a way he could get out of this. Logan, out of all things, was not planning on spending his first Halloween where he wasn't doing quests listening to crackpot scarecrows singing and dancing. Or reciting poems - though it wasn't like there was a difference. As far as he could tell, they were both equally horrifying.

"And you're sure one-hundred percent," Logan asked carefully, head still in his hands, "that he specifically said that we had to-"

Chris grinned, standing up. "Nooow, young wizard!" he bellowed in a (very) poor imitation of the Headmaster's voice, hands clasped together eagerly. Logan's hopes shattered - both the one where he didn't have to go on quests for once in his life, and the one where Chris decided to be less stupid for a day. For once in his life. "In celebration of Halloween, I want you and your other, wizard friend," Chris fixed his invisible monocle, "Luis, correct? Luis, Luis something-pie? Or was it Liam?"

"Liam" scowled.

"Ah, but no matter," Headmaster Chris continued, ignoring him. "You, Chris GriffinHunter," ("So the Headmaster knows your name and not mine?") "and your friend should do the quests from the Jack scarecrow brothers today, before you go trick-or-treating."

"Should!" Logan pointed out with renewed vigor, jumping up. "Not must!" Ha! Take that, quests!

"And then," Chris added, a finger pointed in the air, "he said, and I quote, 'It would be a insult to the scarecrows as well as me if you didn't go.'" He raised an eyebrow, and Logan could easily imagine Headmaster Ambrose giving him the exact same look.

Logan slumped back against the hedge again. Okay, so his life was over. At least he had a good run.

The older wizard patted him on the back. "Cheer up!" he exclaimed brightly. Logan hesitantly looked up into Chris's beaming face, almost afraid of what would come next. "You still have me around, so that's a benefit-"

Chris paused as Ryan, who had been walking past them, froze. "Benefit? Benefit?" she choked out, a smile spreading over her face.

Oblivious to Chris's heated glare, she burst into hysterics. "Ahahahaha!"

Logan watched Ryan crack up with interest, mainly because he had never seen Chris get shown up before. It was pretty entertaining. Logan specifically noted how wizards passing by would look at Ryan strangely, laughing in the middle of the street, then notice Chris, chin propped up defeatedly on his hand, and a look of understanding flash by on their faces.

Suddenly, a thought crossed his mind and Logan immediately edged away from the pair. Maybe having Chris as a friend was ruining his reputation.

After a long period of Chris's scowling and Logan's "I don't know either of them" look, she attempted to recollect herself. "Y-You think," she stuttered, barely keeping from cracking up anymore than she was, "that it's," Ryan swallowed a laugh, "it's- haha- that it's a- a benefit-"

She burst into laughter, unable to complete her sentence. "Ellie! You- ahaha - you can't believe what Chris just said!" She sprinted past them into the fairgrounds, waving a hand to said person. "Ellie!"

Chris sat there dejectedly, listening glumly to the sound of Ellie's laughter. After another minute of non-stop hysterics, he grumbled, "I think I need to reconsider my choice of friends." He paused. "Ones that don't, I don't know, crack up two feet away from me would be nice."

"Chris," Logan began helpfully, "everyone laughs at you."

Chris glared at him, and he couldn't help but cheekily grin back. At least insulting Chris was good for your self-esteem.

Gathering what little dignity he had left, the senior crossed his arms, leaning back against the leafy foliage behind him. "Hmm," Chris said, watching as the pumpkin-dude gleefully swung around, tap-dancing or something else alarming. Logan didn't think he wanted to know. "I might have a solution to this."

Logan eyed him cautiously. "What do you mean, solution?" Solution as in problem, he was willing to bet. Or at least a problem for Logan, in which Chris would just stand there and laugh his butt off.

"A race." Chris nodded like it made perfect sense. Which, obviously, it didn't.

"What do you mean," he repeated, making an impatient gesture with his hands, "a race?"

"A race as in we race. First one to get all the stamps from all the scarecrows," he pointed at the scarecrow-thing in the distance, "wins."

Logan didn't get it. "I don't get it."

"If we race," Chris elaborated slowly, as if he was talking to a little kid (which made him a bit ticked off because no, Logan was not a little kid), "then it's still "Halloween spirit". In fact, we'd look better than everyone else."

It dawned on him. "And if we do it, we get to skip the stupid poems! Yes! You're a genius!" He high-fived Chris, who looked more than a bit startled, and-

Did he just say that Chris was a genius? Logan stopped dancing, somewhat disgusted at himself. He didn't think he would live this one down.

Before Chris could say anything - Logan was already wary of the malicious grin spreading across Chris's face - he marched ahead to the area in front of Gamma's office, scowling. "Are you coming or not?" he asked sourly, looking back to where Chris was leaning against the hedge.

"Please," Chris said, waving a hand. "The _genius_here," and now Logan was really regretting that comment, "can afford to-"

"I'm going to go now," Logan said, pointing in the general direction of the scarecrow. "You know, might as well get a head start. Especially if-"

Logan blinked as the older wizard sped past him off towards the scarecrow. He raised his hands in exasperation, knowing that Chris couldn't see them but doing it anyways. _Seriously?_

He watched in annoyance as Chris, the cheat, waved his hands back and forth in front of the scarecrow's face. _Wasn't in the rules!_

_Stupid! _Logan smacked his forehead. He forgot to make rules. How could he forget to make rules?

Walking over, he reconsidered. Even if there were rules, Chris would break them. He did everything he could.

Logan made to follow him, then stopped as he thought of an idea. _Hey Kieran, _he asked,_ where are you?_

Kieran replied immediately. _Uh, Firecat Ally, ba-_

_Great!_

Logan summoned his energy and teleported. After all, it wasn't in the rules, right?

{~}{~}{~}{~}{~}{~}{~}{~}

"Why didn't you _tell me_you were in a battle?"

Kieran glared at him, putting on a shield. "I was," he began hotly, "but you cut me off. Why didn't you_ tell me_that you were going to teleport?"

Logan snapped his fingers, creating a storm blast that pummeled into the fire elf in front of him. The elf cried out in pain, sinking into the ground. "Because..." He stopped himself, realizing he had no good excuse. Dang. "Because I... uh..."

He grinned sheepishly. "Because it's... Halloween? Yes, that's it! Holiday spirit, right? Why not make the best of the holidays by-"

"-randomly teleporting to your friends."

"Exactly!" he said enthusiastically. "I'm glad you get it!" Kieran looked cross. Maybe his lie didn't work.

This was proved when Kieran said, "You're a terrible liar, did you know that?" What did he mean, Logan was a terrible liar? Of course he wasn't - he had lied well enough to get out of plenty of bad situations, so obviously he was pretty experienced. Kieran had no clue what he was talking about. "And maybe-"

As soon as the dueling circle faded away into red cobblestone at his feet Logan leaped onto the sidewalk and sprinted towards the direction he assumed lead to the tunnel. Chris was probably done with his second stamp by now, and he wasn't planning on losing. So ditching his friends was probably the best option here.

"Seriously, Logan?" Kieran said, growing smaller and smaller behind him. "You had to ditch me!"

"Yes!" he shouted back, waving a hand. Logan could've sworn he saw Kieran roll his eyes.

He looked back just in time to have something wrap around his ankle and send him sprawling, stumbling past a push and tripping so that he landed face down into a clump of fireflowers. Groaning, he managed to push himself off the ground and start moving. This race was not getting off to a good start.

_Karma!_Kieran sang-sung from behind him. Logan ignored him.

{~}{~}{~}{~}{~}{~}{~}{~}

After a dead-end ("Dang it!") and a run all the way back past Kieran to the other side ("You can shut up," he snapped, as Kieran raised an eyebrow), he finally made it to the tunnel. Logan stopped in front of the scarecrow-veggie-stick thing, his legs aching and his lungs burning.

…He really needed a mount. Probably, he made sure to note, one where he didn't need to do any work. Like a horse.

When he had finally stopped gasping for air, the scarecrow leaned forward until he was eye to eye with the wizard. Logan turned his head, cringing at the strong pumpkin smell coming from his mouth. This guy definitely needed a mint.

"Jack Crow." he said, his voice raspy. "Stamp?"

"Yeah," Logan said uneasily, holding out his hand. The pumpkin smiled toothily, pressing a cold ink stamp against his skin, and he turned away, not wanting to look.

When that was done, he peeked at his hand, turning it over to make sure that there was nothing wrong with it. The stamp was an orange smiley face.

He hesitantly lowered his arm. "Uh, thanks?"

Jack continued to smile at him, his face centimeters away. "Bye then..." Unnerved, Logan swiveled around and started walking, glancing back one last time before heading into the darkness of the tunnel.

The scarecrow was still smiling. Creepily. Logan walked faster.

{~}{~}{~}{~}{~}{~}{~}{~}

"Ol' Jack sent ye to Cyclops Lane, did he not? Thy is Pumpkin Jack! Seek ou-"

"Could you, uh, thy, hurry up? Please?" Logan shifted impatiently. At least the other Jack didn't recite poems.

Jack #2 peered at him from above. "Ye wish a stamp?"

"Yes! Thank you!" He held out his arm impatiently.

"Nope." The Jack clone started all over and Logan groaned, earning a couple strange looks from wizards around him. He glared back. "Ol' Jack sent ye to Cyclops Lane, did he not? Thy is Pumpkin Jack! Se-"

In the distance Logan could see Chris, marching over like the idiot he was. "Stamp me, Jack! Stamp me like you have never stamped before!"

As Jack was distracted trying to find the source of the shout, Logan grabbed the stamp from the scarecrow, jabbed it into his palm, and chucked it into the lake behind the tents. It hit the water with a loud plunk, the water rippling across the pond.

The scarecrow blinked, his eyes visibly focusing onto the wizard in front of him, and Logan took a step back.

Then he started running.

Chris slowed down to a trot, being a witness to all the crimes Logan had just committed. "Dude!"

Logan stuck out a foot to trip him before running past, ignoring the Jack clone's cries of "Ye must stop!" behind him. Two down, two to go.

{~}{~}{~}{~}{~}{~}{~}{~}

"Hello, oh wizard! Ye-"

"Stamp!" Logan ducked, the lightning narrowly missing his head. Instead of hitting him, the lightning made a black scorch mark on the tree nearby. (It probably was not a good idea to catch a ride on a lightning bat across the mills.) "Stamp now!"

Confused, Jack O' Lantern stamped his hand before watching the teen make a dash towards the tunnel, almost smacking into a lamppost in the process. "Wizards these days," he muttered, turning away to greet the next wizard. "Always in a hurry."

Chris nodded knowingly. "I know, right?"

{~}{~}{~}{~}{~}{~}{~}{~}

Logan huffed, bending down. "Just... one second..."

The other wizards looked at him strangely, which Logan purposely ignored. He had enough weird looks today, and besides, glaring back was too much of an effort. "Ye be the one who dare race for Jack's name?" the Jack-thing in Unicorn Way asked, eyeing him curiously.

"Uh... if you're talking about... us racing... then yes, I think." Logan paused, in thought. "Which Jack are you talking about?"

The Jack-pumpkin-whatever raised an eyebrow, which made Logan wonder how he even had an eyebrow. Magic? Good carving skills? "Thy speak of all me kin."

"...so, one of them, or all of them, or what?" Logan didn't really understand why the Jack sighed in exasperation as he stamped his hand.

{~}{~}{~}{~}{~}{~}{~}{~}

Jack Hallow (the only Jack he bothered to learn the last name of) turned his hand around, checking for all the stamps. "Hallow says you are missing one stamp, ye see."

Logan yanked his arm back. If the scarecrow wasn't going to tell him he won, he didn't want him getting his hand smothered with pumpkin. "But I got all four!" He waved his hand in front of the pumpkin's face, which the scarecrow promptly stopped by grabbing it in midair. He yanked it back again. "See? Even the creepy one!" He paused. "No offence."

Jack squatted down to his level, ignoring the offending comment. "Ye are missing the stamp... of me."

This scarecrow was just as much of an idiot as Chris was. "Well then, give it!"

"Hmm..." The scarecrow rubbed his chin. "Let Hallow mull it over for a bit... No."

Logan resisted the urge to strangle him, though it took a lot of willpower. "Look, you see," he said with a tight smile, "I have to win a race against my friend," the word friend being a stretch, "so if you don't mind-"

Chris sauntered over, smirking proudly. "Too late!" he said grandly. "I won!"

What? No! He couldn't have-

There wasn't any-

It had to be-

Logan grabbed his arm, checking. And sure enough, there seemed to be five smiley faces on the back of his hand.

Of course, Chris could've always forged them. "You cheated, didn't you?" Logan asked, narrowing his eyes.

Chris gasped in mock indignation. "You would accuse me of cheating? How could I, the genius who thought of this idea, ever so possibly-"

Painful experience had taught him that telling Chris to shut up didn't actually shut him up, so instead, he reached into his bag and chucked a empty card deck at his stupid face.

Disappointingly, Chris dodged. The deck tumbled onto the ground behind him. "Fine, be that way. But remember," he added, "you're the one who called me a genius in the first place."

He swiveled around on one foot and started to walk towards Ravenwood. "Now, if you'd excuse me, I have someone to push into the death hole." He made an elaborate gesture in the air. "Au revoir, Logan-san!"

As Logan watched him walk away, Jack Hallow leaned in. "Ye've not used transportation in this contest of yours, have ye not? Ye fellow companion, on the other hand, this rule has been naught."

"What... do you mean?" Logan said slowly. He had no clue what the scarecrow just said.

Jack frowned. "Yer race is one of true tale, ye swear?"

"Uh, yes?" When Jack looked at him carefully, he nodded his head like he knew what he was talking about. "Yes, that's right. Definitely yes. Of course." Logan was sure he looked pretty convincing.

Hallow-man sighed. Guiding Logan closer to the tree, he quickly glanced around, trying to spot if anyone was watching.

Then he said, "Your friend used a broomstick. Said something about how it wasn't in the rules, apparently-"

Logan immediately recoiled. "You speak _english?"_

"Yeah!" They both jumped, and Logan turned around to see Chris, leaning on his broomstick like he wasn't just scaring them half to death. "Since when did that happen?"


	5. Wumbo

Reference, anyone? XD

**Wumbo**

"Yo FlameBlade, how far'd you get on your essay?" Esmee slid into the seat beside me in the library, leaning to see what I had written so far.

She squinted, seeing the one letter I had put on my paper so far. "'M', huh?" She repeated it, trying to taste the letter in her mouth. "'M', 'M', 'M'."

Suddenly, Esmee tilted her head and grinned slyly. "Ahh, I get it now," she whispered. She nodded knowingly and tapped her pencil against her head. "Smart."

I put my pencil down, curious. "What?" I whispered back.

She blinked back. "What?"

"No, what do you mean, 'smart'?"

"You mean you didn't-" Immediately after those words, she bit her tongue and cut herself off. I raised an eyebrow. "Huh. Never mind."

'"No, really Esmee. What were you going to say?"

"I thought you were going to write about wumbo. See?" She turned the paper around so that the 'M' became a 'W', tapping the letter with a fingernail. "Wum. Bo. It was a good idea, too."

"Wumbo? What's wumbo?"

She recoiled back like I had burnt her, shocked. Or pretending to be shocked. You never knew with Esmee. Hand on her chest, she whispered excitedly, "You don't know what wumbo is?"

"Was I supposed to know?"

She gasped dramatically, making it clear that she was about to start talking and never stop. "Wumbo! You, of all people, don't know _wumbo?"_

I glanced at the clock and then back to my paper with one letter on it. So much for progress. Picking up my pencil, I whispered, "Uh, no, but I don't think that's a word-"

Esmee LightGlen, a long-time friend of spontaneous decisions, decided it would be fun to point this out to all the other stranger wizards in the library. She sprung out of her seat. "Did you hear that?" she gasped, simultaneously pointing at me and looking at a random wizard sitting a table away. "He said he didn't know what wumbo was!"

I winced as Paige turned around in her seat. Unlike Esmee, I was not a friend of spontaneous decisions, and this just made everything ten times worse. "Please, Esmee," she hissed. "This is a library. And I need to work on my project. So shut up."

Paige went back to doing whatever she was doing as Esmee clasped her hands together. "But look!" she said, a little more quietly this time. "This is Kieran! Kieran, Paige!" She gestured frantically at my face, which I did my best to ignore.

Paige slowly turned around, eye-twitching. "Noooo, that's not Kieran," she snapped. "That's Moolinda Wu."

I slammed my pencil down, offended. "What?" I exclaimed. "I'm not Moolinda Wu! What are you talking about?" A couple people turned around, ticked off.

Paige stood up. "It's called sarcasm, idiot!" she hissed. "Do you not know what that is?"

I watched as she passed our table and walked towards the labyrinth of bookcases behind me, shaking her head all the way. "Morons!" she muttered. "I'm stuck with a bunch of morons!"

At that moment the librarian, Mr. Argleston, chose to walk through the doorway. Today was not my lucky day. "I've gotten a couple noise reports from this area lately?" he said, turning the statement into a question. He looked at me annoyed through his spectacles, as if this was all my fault. "Kieran, I know you're a good boy, but if I get another report like this I'm going to have to send you out."

He walked out and I cringed, eyes flitting back and forth between the doorway and the students that were left at the tables. I was an A-student. A-students were not the kind of people who got reported on, especially not noise reports, and especially not threatened by librarians that you had worked so hard over the past year to become friends with.

Mr. Argleston did not like noise. This was not good for my reputation.

Putting on my best fake smile, I turned to talk to (to get rid of) Esmee. "Whether," I whispered brightly, wanting her to leave, "I know this word or not, you can tell me at lunch, because I have to work on my essay now. So, goodbye." I picked up my pencil and tapped it against the table, trying to regain my train of thought.

"Coooome on," she whined, heedlessly pushing on, "you know, I wumbo, you wumbo! He, she, me," she stretched out, sliding further onto the table with her elbow, "wuuuumbo?"

Just as I was about to get something done, my train drove off a cliff and crashed. "Esmee," I interrupted sternly, very aware of the fact that she was trying to annoy me, "I'm have to get this finished by tomorrow, so could you please-"

"Wumbo, wumboed, wumbo-y,"and now she was counting off her fingers, "wumborama-"

"Esmee!"

"-wumbotastic, wumbolishious-"

As Esmee continued to list off forms of wumbo, blond ponytail bobbing back and forth ("Will have thee wumbo!"), I groaned. Behind me, I could hear Paige tapping her finger on top of her chin.

"Hmm," she said in an overly cheerful voice. "I wonder if the weight of all these bookcases would be enough to kill me..."

"-wumbology, the study of wumbo!" Esmee snapped her fingers in front of my face. "This is beginner year, Kieran!" she whispered, sounding way too gleeful for a person who was seriously worried for my knowledge of wumbo. "First! Grade! How do you not know this?"

Maybe if I agreed, she'd shut up and leave me alone. "Fine! Fine, okay, wumbo is definitely a word." I looked up at her through half-lidded eyes. "Esmee, I'm so sorry I ever doubted you."

In response, she slapped me on the back. Hard. The jerk. "See! I knew you'd come around!"

I grunted and picked up my pencil, not bothering to go through the effort of making a response. For the next few minutes we worked in silence, me finally being able to concentrate on writing something that made sense.

Then Esmee said, "Wait... You said wumbo was a word, right?"

She frowned. "Uh, Kieran, hate to break it to you, but wumbo isn't a word."

I groaned, she grinned, and Paige chucked her book at us from behind the bookcase.


	6. Cereal Soup

Sorry, long time no see! And thaaaaaaanks to scarletfireblaze and Mysteriousity1, again (no Pirate101, unfortunately, because I haven't actually tried it out yet). Mark my words, I shall update this story faster!

By the way, the event with the centaurs and the disaster trio that happens below is a future chapter idea.

**Cereal Soup**

Kieran sheepishly grinned, holding out his cauldron. It smelled like something had rubbed itself in krok spit, troll poop and Ceren NightChant's cologne, crawled in and then decided to die in it. "Soup?"

I cautiously peered into the cauldron to see a mess of burnt disgusting black lumpy goo. Not able to identify anything in it, this seriously scared me. "My god Kieran," I asked, horrified, "what did you do?"

"I, uh... I cooked?" he tried, rubbing the back of his head.

"Cooked, my butt!" I exclaimed incredulously, leaning forward. "I asked for something edible." And for emphasis, I raised my hands and lowered them. _"Edible."_

Note to self: do not encourage Kieran to cook anything. Ever. Again.

"I ought since ou knew about is stuff? Since ore a fire wizard?" questioned Ellie curiously, holding her nose and peering in. When she saw what was inside, she blanched and hurriedly sat down, crossing her arms in the process.

"Well," he said, making a gesture with his hand, "the population's divided. Half of the pyromancers are excellent cookers. And the other half," he said sheepishly, "just burn stuff up."

"So you're not good at cooking?" I pressed on. Kieran was supposed to know everything, so this new development was quite interesting.

He frowned, gently placing the cauldron on the table in front of us. I grimaced and edged away, resisting the urge to throw up in it. Not like it'd make a difference to the taste. "Look," he said, "I know about a lot of things. I just don't know how to cook. Happy?"

Score! "Well well well," I began, "Kieran FlameBlade, master of pyromancy, straight-A student, can't even cook soup...!" I spread out my arms like it was the headline of the news. "Tutoring? Never fear, Kieran's here - just don't ask him to make you something to eat or you'll die of food poisoning-"

"This is still edible," said Kieran, eyebrows raised.

"For skeletons, yes, because they don't have stomachs. Only ribcages." I stood up and as quickly as humanly possible edged around the table. "For humans, sadly, no." I patted Kieran on the back for effort (he did try, didn't he?) and made my way to the kitchen behind him. "Sorry!" I called out as I passed through the doors.

I choked on air and held my nose. Looking around the kitchen of the elegant Marlobonean house, the smell was even worse here and I could see the scorch marks on the ceiling, but other than that it was cleaned up pretty nicely. Expected, since Kieran was a neat freak at school anyway. Splaying my fingers, the cabinets opened and I searched through the contents for something edible, letting the items float around in the air. It was a neat trick I "learned" from Professor Grayrose, who taught us how to manipulate the air particles to make strong gusts of wind. I figured out how to adapt it to make objects float.

Sometimes, I like showing it off. Ellie scolds me.

"No, no, nope," I said, sifting through what seemed to be tons of boxed cereals like AmbrOs and Cyclop's Crunch. I leaned back and called out through the doorway, still holding my nose, "What, do ou just live on ereal ere?"

Kieran's sheepish voice floated back through the doorway. "Yes. Maybe."

"Kieran!" Ellie scolded. "Ou ant live on ereal forever!

I opened the next cabinet to reveal enough cans of Magic brand soup to last a century of... centuries. "And Magic canned soup too, apparently."

"Stop looking through my food!"

"This isn't considered food," I called back, making everything fly back to their proper places and slamming the cabinet doors shut.

"Stop looking through my stuff!"

"So you agree this isn't food?"

"Ryan!"

"Kieran!" I mimicked cheerfully.

He huffed, sweeping through the large entryway to the kitchen with Ellie in tow. His red cloak fluttered along behind him. Ellie, being dragged along behind Kieran, looked around curiously. "Seriously though, if you're going to mock what I eat, I'd at least like to see you make something."

"Learn from the professional, hmm?" I elbowed him slyly.

He was undeterred. "You sound too much like Chris," Kieran said thoughtfully, leaning back.

I almost choked again, but this time not because of the smell. "What."

Kieran's eyes crinkled, and I looked at him furiously before snapping my mouth shut. "Don't distract me," I said, brushing my brown bangs out of my eyes. I tiptoed up to see Ellie, who was searching through a drawer for something (if she was looking for food, I was positive she wouldn't find any). "Ellie! Come over here!"

"Hmm?"

"We're going to cook something for Kieran!"

She snapped up to attention, shutting the drawer in the process. "We need something to use to cook other than cereal and soup, you know," she reminded me, holding up a reprimanding finger.

Kieran grinned confidently and put his hands on his hips. "Unless we cook cereal soup!"

We both stared at him across various parts of the kitchen in disbelief. I snorted.

After a while of silence, he frowned and said, "I thought it was a good idea-"

"You thought it was a good idea-" I mimicked.

"-okay, so maybe it wasn't-"

"-so _maaaaaaybe_ it wasn't-"

"Stop doing that!"

"Stop doing that!" I repeated, almost doubled over in laughter. Ellie just giggled and shook her head, swinging herself to sit on the granite counter top.

Kieran winced at this action, then huffed again and said grudgingly, "I thought it was creative, but whatever. Go ahead and make what you want. But," he said sharply, spinning around with the speed of a dragon, "clean it up, or I'm kicking you out."

I raised my hand in protest. "You're only fourteen. I'm, what, fifteen?"

Ellie tilted her head. "I'm fifteen too," she added timidly.

I nodded firmly in argument against this injustice. "Exactly. What say do you have-"

Suddenly he had his wand in his hand, a ball of fire in the other, and a steel-hard glint in his eyes. Kieran takes these things way too seriously sometimes. "My house, my rules. I want it absolutely spotless."

I laughed, and he deflated a little. "Worlds saved?" I thumped a fist against my chest proudly and held up a hand. "Five." (Okay, so _sometimes_ I use this fact a little too much too. Ellie scolds me and says the attention goes to my head - which, of course, I have to deny.)

"Of course," Kieran said sarcastically, "that can't have to do anything with the fact that Ellie, Chris, Logan, Paige or I helped you, could it?" He raised his arms and said in a flat voice, "How ever could that have been possible?"

"You sound too much like Paige."

Kieran gaped and staggered back like I had dropped a bomb. Argument won? Check. "W- W- What?" he managed to sputter out weakly.

"Here, with the so obvious sarcasm, and the hair-trigger weapon response from earlier too." I raised an eyebrow. "And here I just wanted to see what your reaction would be..."

Kieran, looking mortified, searched desperately for an escape route. I grinned in triumph and slapped the high-five I knew Ellie would be holding up.

{~}{~}{~}{~}{~}{~}{~}{~}

In a haze of icy-blue symbols I materialized right behind Ellie and dumped the load of bags I had painfully carried for so long onto the island in the middle. "Hey Ellie, so here's all the food I bought from the Bazzar-"

She shrieked, jumped, and twisted around with a glare legendary for the theurgist Ellie Green. "Ryan!" she snapped. "At least tell me when you're going to teleport over!"

I fiddled with my fingers sheepishly. Now that I wasn't carrying anything anymore, my hands felt funny being so empty. "Sorry."

Ellie sighed and smiled at the same time, turning around to continue washing the unused forks and knives in the sink. "Hmm," she replied, her way of saying "that's okay". "What are we making again, remind me?"

I grinned. Grabbing the nearest fork, I held it in the air and cried out confidently, "Cereal soup!"

Ellie turned around. With one look at the expressions on each other's faces we both broke and collapsed against each other, laughing.

After a minute, I tried to recollect myself. "W- Well a- actually," I said shakily, "you can decide. I just bought whatever looked good."

She eyed me disapprovingly before dropping her knife onto a nearby towel and wringing her hands over the sink. She then peered over the bags, frowning thoughtfully.

"Hmm," Ellie said at last, eyes scanning over the food. "Mandrake root, asparagus spears, chile peppers, MooShu tofu, allocados, birthday cake...?"

"Wait..." I frowned. Something sounded off here. Especially since I couldn't handle spicy food, and hated frosting for my life.

Suddenly, Ellie frowned and picked up something green and rectangular shaped, dangling it between her fingers. "I am not eating this."

I squinted to read the label of the plastic package. "Basil Poodle Noodles... put in a pot of boiling water for 10 minutes, strain onto plate and wait for poodle to form-" Making a strangled noise, I cut myself off, grabbed the bag and maneuvered around the countertop and Ellie. "I did not buy that. No, I'd never buy that. Poodle Noodles? Basil Poodle Noodles? What the heck? Who'd eat that anyway? Do they expect people to enjoy eating green poodle fur, or what?"

I paced back and forth in the big space near the entryway. Ellie, watching me with concern, said, "You must have switched them with someone else's bags while you were shopping." (Note: she trust me enough to know that I wouldn't have picked it out without paying attention. Because, as most knew, I was an accomplished shopper. Paying attention was important, not only when you were looking for sales and hidden small print at the bottom of labels, but also in duels, when not paying attention could end up with a long reach high power sword in your back and you on the ground, crying for your mommy.

Trust me. I knew this all from experience.)

I had already realized that I switched the bags at the Bazzar without knowing. Duh. Really, I wouldn't have been so worked up otherwise. "That's- That's-"

I had half a mind to shout, "That's preposterous!" and teleport out mysteriously like Chris would have done (I shuddered - Kieran could be right about that). Instead, I swerved in a giant curve towards the door that led outside that led to the house exit that would eventually lead to the Bazzar where I could find the person and eventually strangle them for my bags back. "My money! Gone down the drain!" I cried (still a little too much like Chris for my taste, but it would have to do) and opened the door, walking through and slamming it shut.

Predictably, Ellie followed me. "Don't you think you're being," she called, walking faster to keep up with my brisk pace, "I don't know, a little overdramatic, Ryan? Maybe?"

"No."

"You are."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not." This walkway was waaaaaaay too long. This was wasting my time - the longer it took to get there, the longer it would take to get to the Bazzar and to find the person who took my bags. Why, Kieran, I mentally cried out, did you have to get such a large house, if you live by yourself? Alone? Possibly forever? Probably forever, I amended. Instead of being a person who wanted a girlfriend and tried but somehow couldn't get one, Kieran was the type of person who would shun any of the female population that took interest in him (other than us and Paige, of course) on fear that they would clutter his study area. Or the poor girl would get jealous because he spent so much time with the teachers instead of her. Or something.

I fear for Kieran's health sometimes. He'd become an old cat-man living by himself in his dark cave of books and studying if we weren't there to help him.

"At least tell me you're going somewhere before you go," someone that sounded suspiciously like Kieran said from next to me. Speak of the devil, and he arrives.

"Bazaar. Someone stole the food I bought for you," I answered, marching on. Bazaar first. Kieran's terrible cooking, second.

"Well, not exactly stole," Ellie tried to amend behind me. "Where were you, anyway?"

"I decided to study in my room," Kieran replied, like this was the most natural pastime in the world. Go figure.

Reaching the door, I opened the handle and looked at the vast swirling purple in front of me. "Well, go study some more. Me and Ellie are going to find this guy and murder him."

"Well," Ellie said nervously, "not murder him-"

Kieran raised an eyebrow. "Why is this so important to you, anyway? Food is food." Ellie hesitated, then nodded her head in agreement, surprisingly enough.

"But I spent so much time trying to pick out good food!" I whined. Ellie pursed her lips. "Okay, not really. But this is my money I used, here. And, I bought ice cream and nachos," I jabbed a finger into my palm determinedly, Kieran rolled his eyes and Ellie laughed, "and I am not trading anyone for anything else."

{~}{~}{~}{~}{~}{~}{~}{~}

I teleported over to Kieran a mess, leaves in my disheveled brown ponytail, mud splattered all over my robe, and my new defensive boots I had gotten recently scorched unrecognizable. Ellie appeared in a similar state. "Never. Again."

Kieran looked up from his book (surprise, surprise!) in his living room and raised an eyebrow. "What happened to you?" He did a double take and waved his hands as we plopped onto the couch next time him, leaving a trail of ash and leaves behind us. "Wait- My carpet!"

"So, the person who I switched bags with?" I said conversationally, ignoring his worrying over his carpet. "Chris." Kieran stopped talking. "And who was there with him? Logan and Paige." He winced. "You know, it's a wonder we're even friends with that trio," I huffed. "Though Logan doesn't count, since he's my younger brother anyway."

Ellie frowned, trying to pick out all the leaves from her signature up-do. "I suppose it would have been better if we ended up using tempest." She gave up, dropping her hands into her lap. "It would've gotten us clean, at any rate."

"But wouldn't the centaurs- oh, never mind." At Kieran's stricken look, I pointed at him. "Exactly. You don't want to know."

Kieran frowned thoughtfully. "We're the sensible ones of this group. Mostly." (I resented that!) "I don't understand why we're perpetually stuck with them."

"Sadly, I do not know. Though, I'd like to find out." I stood up, and a mass of dirt came off and plumeted to the ground. Kieran moved his stricken look to the carpet. "Well! I'm going to take a shower, then Ellie will, and then we'll cook-" I paused, sensing a flaw in this plan. "-with the food we have."

Kieran looked smug. "I told you. Cereal soup." He nodded confidently, and I trudged away hopelessly towards the bathroom.

Five minutes later, I came back to see Ellie peering over Kieran's shoulder at his book. (Figures. They both loved books unconditionally.) "Where-"

"Hallway, first door on your left," he said, not even looking up.

I frowned at this, mulling this response over. The fact that he's had so much free time to memorize the layout of his house...

{~}{~}{~}{~}{~}{~}{~}{~}

"What can we cook with tofu and chocolate?" I held up the tofu and the chocolate each, weighing them respectively. They were the only foods Ellie and I had considered edible, out of all the foods that were Chris's.

I mean, seriously? Basil Poodle Noodles? Chow Chow Chow? Ninja Figgy Pudding? I had to have a talk with Chris after this. (And not what we did earlier. That was... no.)

Ellie tapped her chin. "Chocolate... tofu?"

Kieran snorted. "And you said my idea was bad."

She shot a look at him. "You never know until you try-"

"Alright," he said matter-of-factly. "You can cook the tofu, and I'll cook cereal soup. But!" he suddenly said. "Since we all know the outcome will end with me burning up whatever I cook," Kieran grabbed my arm and pulled me over (I had been edging away the entire time), "Ryan will cook as a representative of me."

He flashed a grin, enjoying the fact that he had won. I shrunk back a bit, and settled for glaring at him. At least, through all this work, have me cook something good! Not... cereal soup, of all things. "You really do sound like Paige," I replied, trying to find something that would give me an edge.

Kieran winced, then brightened, elbowing me. "Well, I did learn from the professional, eh?"

An hour later, I had fun floating his alphabet-cereal soup and chocolate tofu ice cream above his head, as well as the chairs. Mana wasted, yes. Argument won? Check.


	7. Centaur and Popcorn

...Okay, so when I said a _future chapter idea_ last chapter, I meant this chapter. :)

And unless anyone says anything otherwise, I'm going to stop changing the summary, because it's too much effort and I'm so, so, so lazy...

**Centaur and Popcorn**

Logan, jumping at the sudden sound of crackling leaves somewhere above his head, fumbled with his wand. "No no nonono-!"

_Smooth, Logan. Smooooth._

Cringing, Logan jerked away and back behind the green foliage of the bush. He watched helplessly through branches as his wand rolled down the slanted expanse of grass and somewhere down the steep hill in Olde Town.

"Smooooth, buddy." Chris swung down like some sort of primitive ape (knowing Chris, he probably was one) and landed on both feet, standing up. He was holding bags full of groceries he had - Logan guessed - bought from the Bazaar earlier. "Alright, stuck the landing!"

Chris fist-pumped with his free hand, and Logan didn't even flinch. (Was this a good thing or a bad thing?) Feeling sorry for himself, he looked up dully and said, "Sit down already. You're going to blow my cover."

And he had stopped trying to convince him to go away? Logan suddenly felt really old, especially considering the fact that he was two years younger than his senior. Age was really getting to him. (Maybe he would enjoy his youth when he was older - which yes, didn't make any sense, but Logan had to have at least a tiny bit of hope for enjoying his future.)

Chris jumped down, sitting with his legs crossed like a little kid. Swinging his bags around, he placed them on his lap in one fluid motion and leaned in. Logan, through habit, leaned away. "Soooooo... Whatcha doin'?"

Logan tried put in the effort to glare at him, even if it was half-heartedly. "You made me lose my wand," he huffed, gesturing with a hand.

"Nooo!" Chris grabbed his shoulders and shook them dramatically. "Your wand- Lost- Forever- Never to return- _In the beyond!"_ He swept his arm outwards and hit the trunk of the tree with a thunk, not even wincing.

After Logan, trying hard to think of an impressive remark ("Idiot!"), said nothing, Chris jumped up. Leaves fell from his yellow and dark blue cloak onto the grass, and he brushed some more off. "You wuss. I'll get it."

_No! _Suddenly the fog in his mind cleared. He knew exactly what he had to do now to save his reputation, the only choice he had. The outcome of this would determine his future - it was either _life or death!_

Eyes widened in horror, Logan lunged forward, trying to grab Chris's cloak. "Wait, no, don't-"

And suddenly there was Logan, sprawled half on the grass half behind a bush, a twig caught in his hair. Reddening, he slowly crawled back behind the bush, and flopped backwards.

So! He was dead. Reputation: gone. Zero. Nada. And, well, while he was at it, there went his wand too.

But wait! His life was terrible anyway, wasn't it?

Huh. It was.

Laying on the grass, hands behind his head, he contemplated the situation. The clouds drifted by lazily in the brightness of the sky, and sun filtered in through the leaves. The world seemed to be going on without him, as he pondered this new realization.

Did he really have anything to lose?

Not really. He was already bad enough as it was, friends with Chris. The wand was the only thing to mourn about here (it had been expensive! Wait until it was snapped in half!) It couldn't get any worse after this.

Logan started to push himself up. Now this meant he could do whatever the hell he wanted to! Maybe if he was quick enough, he could run up and tackle Chris for all it was worth-

And then, a dark, looming shadow appeared in front of him, blocking out all his sunshine-y bright, wonderful hopes of freedom. Yeah, it just got worse.

"Why, tell me, are you hiding behind a bush?" Paige asked. The menace.

Logan cringed. "Reasons," he muttered darkly, hoping she'd go away. He had just realized he was a goner, for crying out loud! Give him a break!

"Yeah, okay," she snorted, plopping down next to him.

Logan sucked a breath in. Okay, he had lied. He liked his life. He really, truly liked living. And he liked his living, breathing, body, and he liked his friends, even if half of them were idiots, and he being able to blink and move and crouch behind a bush and please-don't-kill-him-Paige-please-don't-kill-him- he'd-rather-not-be-impaled-on-a-sword-thank-you-ve ry-much-

Paige looked at him curiously. "Um... I won't?"

Logan hastily scrambled back. "You can read minds?"

"Idiot. You were just talking to yourself."

Logan opened his mouth, then closed it. Now he just looked stupid, didn't he?

"Wait... since when?" Logan finally asked, a horrifying truth dawning on him.

"Uh," she raised an eyebrow, "I don't know."

Logan reeled back, horrified for a second time. So how many times had he started talking to himself? Logan cursed, then buried his head in his hands. He probably looked like a nut. Reputation: gone.

Wait, no, hadn't he already figured that out? Logan's head jerked up.

Then he slumped back into his arms again. This was too confusing. He'd have to think about whether he was still living or not later.

Logan finally awoke out of his thoughts to see Paige, surprisingly still there. Hand on his deck (not like he could do anything with it) he asked warily, "Hey, why-"

"Shhhh!" Paige hissed, holding up a hand, eyes trained on something happening on through the bushes. Logan, curious enough to ignore his fear of being pummeled, pushed away some of the branches to see what looked like his older sister and Chris arguing. Figures.

And there was a centaur too! Logan, horrified for what was the third time in a row, actually decided to do something about it. Since, you know, his reputation was a goner anyway.

Maybe.

Sort of.

Whatever.

Jumping out of his cover of the bushes, twigs nested in his hair, he sprinted up to them. "You!" Logan cried, panting, pointing at Chris, because it was obviously Chris's fault. Whatever he did to summon a dangerous creature with serious Life magic and bows and arrows and _sharp knives that they just happened to carry just in case_ - yes, he had experience - in a non-magic area...

...After a minute with his arm in the air, and everyone standing around staring at him, Logan himself bent over panting (so it was far away and he wasn't the best runner out there, aright?), Logan finally looked up to see someone's green piercing eyes. "Hidee-ho, wizard!" the centaur greeted, a serious expression on his face.

His knee-jerk reaction was to scramble out from underneath him, but Logan managed through sheer willpower to only look slightly awkward. Score!

Except... not score."Uh..." The centaur was still looking at him. Logan could literally see every line etched into the weathered centaur's face, and his dark hooves were dangerously close to Logan's bag where he had dropped it after running. "Could you..." Logan tugged on the straps of his bag, "uh, please..." The centaur's tail swished behind him, and Logan tugged on his straps a little more.

"...move?" He didn't like the sensation of someone breathing on his face. It was a little creepy and unsanitary, no matter how someone looked at it.

Reluctantly (which seemed more than just a little creepy, now that he thought about it), the centaur drew back and tilted his head thoughtfully, before starting to pace around Logan. Ryan looked sheepish behind him - _you owe me one, Ryan!_ "Are you not afraid of me?" the centaur asked curiously, after a bit of awkward marching, and Logan standing there fidgeting and doing absolutely nothing.

It took Logan a moment to realize he was talking to him. "...Not reall- yes!" he said, just as Ryan made a slashing sign at her throat behind the centaur's back, and Chris shook his head just as quickly. "Yes, I, uh, am scared of you. Very intimated. Definitely!" When the centaur still looked puzzled, Logan jerked back and said in what he hoped to be a scared voice, "Ah! Oh no! See, I'm scared." Logan flashed a thumbs up at him, hoping the centaur understood what that meant. For some reason, Ryan facepalmed behind him - so he didn't know what it meant?

The centaur glanced at Ryan. "For all the obvious fibs your kin tells me-" Logan frowned, puzzled, "-he is surprisingly brave." He took a step forward, and Logan, meeting his gaze warily, took a step back. "What say you?"

Logan wasn't sure whether he was supposed to say yes or no, so he went with the middle choice. "Uh, maybe?" he said, raising a hand.

Ryan and Chris simultaneously cringed. "Not- not exactly?" Logan tried. Was he doing something wrong? "...I'm just kind of creeped out."

_Logan, you, just..._ Ryan's desperate voice echoed in his head. _...Please, just shut up._

"Creeped out? Elaborate." The centaur leaned back against the tree nearby. So this was turning into a full-fledged conversation, huh?

Apparently not, because Ryan interrupted him with a sudden, "He's doesn't really mean that, so-"

"I, uh, kinda do...?" Heads turned to look at him (except for Chris's, who was now sitting on the ground stuffing his face popcorn. Logan blinked. How was he so used to this, again?)

_Logan, be quiet! _And there was Ryan.

_Look. _(Maybe he was used to Chris by now because he was going crazy...? Seriously, his level of common sense was rapidly depleting.) _I'm telling the truth. You don't have to cover for me for everything. Besides, what's he going to do? Shoot an arrow at me-_

An arrow whistled by his ear and into a tree trunk with a loud thunk.

Logan inhaled sharply. Everyone but Logan jumped, a couple wizards passing by dove away onto the ground and one girl shrieked. Logan was horrified, at himself for getting overconfident (NEVER UNDERESTIMATE A CENTAUR) but also for a different reason. Because the most important person, the girl who had nearly been skewered in the forehead by an arrow as she walked underneath the tree, was now walking with an audible, furious click-click of her combat boots, sleeved pushed up, hood down, trembling balled fists attached to both arms, and her gleaming icy sword scathed in her belt.

"You," Paige growled, marching straight up to him.

"Wait Paige, stop, don't-! You too, Xenan- Paige, no, put the sword down, Paige! Hey- _Xenan!" _Ryan was hopping back and forth between the two, trying to prevent them from killing each other. Xenan, who Logan assumed was the name of the centaur, had already stood up, flicking his brown tail back and flaring his nostrils.

His opinion? Logan was content with not taking part in this anymore, so he strolled over and sat next to Chris.

"Hmm? Who-" He sniffed. "Ah, this pathetic ice student again?" Paige clenched her jaw. Xenan slung his bow forward and cracked his knuckles as the couple of students gathering started to whisper. "Ambrose may have said ere to avoid fighting students in such a lovely place as this, but I'm sure he could make an exception for you," he sneered.

"You two know each other?" someone shouted, just as the same thought popped into Logan's head.

"Sure," Paige replied with the air of casualness, "if you can call knowing someone when that person almost runs you over this morning, then blames it on you." Logan heard the bite in her tone though, the snap and lashing of teeth.

"Because as I have said, wizard," Xenan cried, "only someone such as yourself could clumsily step into my way-"

"Oh, you'd risk saying that after almost putting a bloody arrow in my head?" Paige hissed. The front-line of the large crowd that had gathered (Paige VS Centaur! Watch the epic showdown live!) stumbled back as Paige glared full-force at the centaur. "What was that for?"

"Ah," Xenan looked smug, "When I saw you and all your-" he looked her over disdainfully, "-wizardness, I couldn't help but practice my archery. It wouldn't have made a difference if I had made an unsightly error and landed my shaft lower than I had made aim, so I supposed it was alright."

Paige narrowed her eyes. "I thought centaurs were supposed to be selfless and polite?"

"Apologies then," Xenan raised his eyebrows, "for not hitting you and doing everyone here a large favor."

"Right, I'm murdering him now!" Her sword seemed to slide perfectly out of her belt and into her hand, glimmering with blue dust. However, Paige struggled to get by Ryan, trying to shove past her. "Ryan- Stop-!" Ryan moved into her line of view every time Paige switched directions. Logan was amazed at her sister's bravery. "Move!"

Ryan refused to budge, hands on her hips. "This- doesn't- involve- you," Paige grunted, ramming into her with each word she said.

"No, this doesn't involve you," Ryan replied. Xenan seemed to lower his bow just a tiny bit, surprised.

"He shot an arrow at me, for crying out loud!" Paige said sharply.

"Cat fight!" someone shouted in the crowd.

"Be quiet!" they simultaneously shouted back. They then glared at each other.

"Why are you even defending him anyway?" she grunted, attempting a sprint past her. Ryan was quick to defend, sliding in the way with one fluid movement.

"I have reasons. So stop."

"No!" She tried to charge into her, but again Ryan managed to sidestep and push her back all at the same time. The sparks could practically be seen between the two now.

There were four point five things Logan was thinking about at the time:

1. Logan knew his older sister was skilled, but not that skilled. Paige? Defeated? They had done what everyone thought was impossible: killed Malistaire, survived flamethrowers from flying dragons, fought blade to blade with Mooshu-ians, jumped off buildings, saved little kids, ate mandrake roots, all that junk (not like it wasn't important or anything). But, they didn't do the impossible-impossible. Like, eating five-boxes of pizza, waking up at one-am, defeating Paige impossible-impossible.

2. Logan couldn't help but agree with Paige. If he was almost hit by an arrow, he would want to beat the guy to a pulp. Why was Ryan being so stubborn?

3. "Popcorn?" Chris asked. Logan stuck his hand in the bowl and tossed some into his mouth. It was surprisingly good.

4. Logan felt like he should be doing something about this before the guards came - hey, wait, weren't there supposed to be guards and other adults here? Logan glanced around - but he didn't know what. This was becoming half-entertaining, half-frustrating to watch, and Logan was really torn between the decision to keep watching and stand up and yell at everyone. Earlier today he was hiding from someone behind a bush, lost his wand, lost his sanity, and now he was watching a cat-fight and eating popcorn, and Chris was right beside him, and frankly his life was spiraling out of control.

4.5. Chris seemed okay with just watching though, so Logan decided to stay for the popcorn.

And finally, Paige shoved Ryan aside into a bunch of people, the crowd roared and Ryan shouted "No!" before Paige rammed into Xenan with enough force to make him stumble back.

He grinned, shook his mane, and suddenly they were a blur, Xenan shooting arrows at lightning speed and Paige cartwheeling back, parrying and stabbing in a flurry of brown, blue and silver.

An ice wall froze out of the ground and into a dome around Xenan, Paige, Logan and Chris, and Ryan, at the same time Ellie pushed through the crowd. The glimmering shield between her and the crowd finished hardening behind her, and she whirled around to see before exclaiming, "What's going on?"

Ryan was kneeling on the ground to the side now, holding her side. When Logan noticed this, his mind blanked, dropping the popcorn bowl and ignoring Chris's cries of "My popcorn!", before running over.

Logan and Ellie were both bent over her now. "Haha," Ryan said weakly (that was a bad sign, no no no), "I guess doing that took too much of a strain on me." She glanced up casually (you moron! How can you do that when they were both freaking out here!) at Ellie who was frozen, eyes locked on Ryan. "You're late-"

"I know I'm late!" Ellie exclaimed tensely.

"-and, well, no offense, but if you were here you probably could've convinced Chris to give me the groceries-"

"Chris!" Ellie said, surprised.

"-but you weren't, and I would've let the centaur get what he deserved, except from the meeting before Kieran's, the Headmaster had said I'd get a suspension it happened again-"

"That's- Why didn't you tell me!" Ellie exclaimed. Logan had no clue what they were talking about.

"-so I took the liberty of doing what you would've done-"

As Ellie swept her into a hug, Logan cried anxiously, jumping from one foot to the other, "Is this really the time for that? Can't you heal her or anything?"

She looked at Logan like he was stupid. Which he was not. "Olde Town? No magic allowed?"

_"Who cares?"_

"Apparently you do."

Logan raised his hands to the heavens. "I swear-" Suddenly he remembered something. "You guys don't have potions?" he asked, rummaging frantically through his bag.

"It wasn't an issue, seeing that I'm always with Ellie, and she's a Life student."

Logan wanted to smack them. "Idiots!" Instead of chucking his expensive-glass-bottle-full-of-potion at Ryan's face, he painstakingly dropped it into her hand. "Use it."

"You know she doesn't need it, right?" Chris shouted over the din of the crowd (apparently sharp pointy ice walls didn't mute out cheering wizards), his hands cupped around his mouth. A couple arrows bounced off of the ice wall behind him and clattered onto the ground.

"Thanks for worrying about me!" Ryan shouted back.

"I'm sure you can handle it, Ryan-san!" Chris cheered, waving around something orange in his hand. Ryan made a thumbs-up sign before looking amusedly at the blue bottle in her hand. "It's true, I don't need this anymore," she said to Logan, standing up.

"It's for keepers," Logan grunted, walking away towards Chris. And now, he'd sit back onto the ground like the person he was, moan about the status of his life, eat popcorn, and do absolutely nothing as the fight progressed-

Chris waved around his orange popsicle with interest, ignoring the fact that it was dripping down his arm. "This is like a soap oprah!"

Reality crashed around him. Yeah... no. He was done.

_Absolutely _done.

"Everyone, just shut up!"

Ryan and Ellie, talking about something with each other, looked up curiously. Chris cocked his head. The crowd quieted. And when Paige and Xenan didn't stop fighting, his shield and her sword locked together in a match of strength, Logan walked over and shoved both of them away from each other.

"What are you-?"

"How dare you-!"

Logan held out his hand in the universal stop gesture. "...No. Just stop." Too tired to care anymore about the tons of people staring at him through the ice wall, he closed his eyes. "Maybe I'm a nut, but you guys are probably like peanut butter or something."

"Logan, can you just-"

"Do you really think-"

_Logan, what are you-_

Logan whirled around. "You," he said to Ryan, "can't keep trying to cover for me all the time and telling me what to do." Ryan looked alarmed, and he didn't mean it as much as harsh as it came out of his mouth, but Logan was fed up, so he kept going. "You're my sis and all, and I trust your judgment, but I can handle things by myself from now on. It's frustrating to think that I've saved the world - worlds, sorry - and yet you won't let me control things by myself for once."

"You!" Paige was less angry and more surprised, but really, Logan wasn't sure how his physical health would be after this. "It's probably both of your faults for running into each other. You both need to learn how to let go of a grudge. And you have to stop reaching for a weapon every time you get mad, because frankly, everyone gets freaked out."

"You," he turned to Xenan, who stared back with a neutral expression. "You need to stop shooting things at people, and starting fights, and being a jerk, and _do you know how many people could've been hurt back then?"_ The centaur's face was calm, which only served to rile up his anger. He pointed at the shining ice wall that had started to melt, icicles dripping water into small puddles at his feet. "If my sister hadn't sacrificed some of her energy to make an ice shield, do you know how many arrows would have hit people? And injured them? Maybe even killed them? And how many people you could've slashed in half?" he said to Paige. "Seriously? Do you even care?"

Paige looked somewhat guilty, but Xenan continued to wear his proud expression. Logan was sick. He raised both of his hands. "Look, you two are good opponents, and I truly, truly don't have a problem with you guys breaking each other's limbs in half, but if you're going to duel, do it far, far, far away. You know, somewhere like Dragonspyre or something-" he pointed somewhere over the edge of the town (okay, that was Grizzleheim, but he really didn't care at this point), "-where there's no people whatsoever and you two can fight it out to the death and have a blast. Without me."

Xenan clopped forward on all four hooves. "Boy, you willingly risk your safety and be at the mercy of my bow simply for the wellbeing of others?"

"Nooo, don't get me wrong." Logan pointed to outside of the wall, where the crowd was listening in. "I care about them not dying, but this is all just to preserve my sanity, because I don't have enough of that anyways."

"And _yoooooou,"_ Logan hissed, swiveling around. Practically the only reason why his sanity was gone in the first place-

Chris looked up from his popsicle, mouth covered in orange, totally nonplussed from what was going on around him. He grinned. "Wassup?" He bit a piece of orange popsicle and said, chewing it, "Are you going to tell everyone what a great wizard I am?"

"No. Give me back my wand."

"The one in the beyond?"

Logan could clearly see it sticking out of his bag, shooting sparks and glowing purple. He didn't want it being tainted by Chris any longer than necessary. "I will _leave."_

"Here then," Chris said, sliding it out of his bag and tossing it over. Logan suddenly regretted it when he felt something sticky and looked at his hands to see orange syrup on it. "Isn't bad, but mine's better."

"Sure it is." He turned around to face Ryan, Ellie, Paige, and Xenan. Logan wasn't sure where his previous bravery had went, but now he just felt depressed. "Uh, I'm going... don't follow me Chris," he added strongly. (He'd like peace, for once. Once! Was that so hard to ask?)

Sighing, he teleported to the commons. The familiar sound of chatter and water washed over him.

He leaned against the tree near the center, thinking. Logan wasn't sure what he was going to do that would top that this weekend. He just solved an argument, saved countless people, and actually got his wand back, which he had been resolved to losing or seeing snapped in half. It couldn't be topped. He'd rather it not be topped, frankly.

Logan jumped. "Wait, no, did I just jinx it?"

"Yes, you did!" And there was Chris, just like he had been resolved to seeing. Why couldn't his life be normal? Please? "So tell me, what did you jinx?"

{~}{~}{~}{~}{~}{~}{~}{~}

Brian Guildenstern, guard of Olde Town for six years, broke through the darkness of the tunnel, sprinting towards a crowd that had gathered in the center of town. Barely noticing the group of adults struggling to catch up behind him, he shouted, "Move, at order of the Headmaster!" and slipped through the mass of people. Using his spear, he jabbed at the jutting mass of ice until it cracked. Then kicking through, he moved in to see a centaur and three female wizards, two bent over talking and one standing off to the side, holding a bright sword out.

"Woah, young lady, put that down," he said cautiously. The wizard grudgingly sheathed her sword. "Now, what is the meaning of this?"

The taller, dark-haired girl put her grocery bags down and turned around, and suddenly Private Guildenstern was met with a familiar image. "Ryan! What are you doing here?" He remembered the girl when she had managed to help him out months ago with something he had needed. She was one of the nicer wizards, if he was to say so himself, and saving a couple worlds didn't hurt either. The Private was proud to have met her during his shifts, unlike some of his coworkers. They had touched upon the topic at the Olde Town supervisor meeting that they had been at before a panting wizard came up and told them something was happening here.

Then, he remembered the other of the duo. "You brother- Liam? Logan, was it? Where is he?"

"Ha, well, it's a long story," the wizard said. "We were making a fort."

"A fort," Guildenstern repeated slowly. The other two wizards looked mildly surprised, and the centaur snorted, but they didn't say anything other than that.

"What's going on?" A guard pushed in through the hole he had made, one he hadn't learned the name of because he had just started working.

"Yeeees. Well, not really a fort-fort," Ryan amended, ignoring him. "It's more of a promotional thing. We were trying to show people the danger of going on quests, and how to prevent innocent bystanders from being roped in."

"I thought they taught that at Ravenwood...?" Guildenstern asked.

"I heard there had been some sort of commotion," the newbie guard added.

"The teachers all assign quests and are used to it by now, so they haven't outlined the dangers as much as they have," Ryan said. "Plus, they haven't shown the bystander part, so me and them have been modeling it."

"Is that so, Xenan?" Guildenstern said doubtingly. He needed proof, and Xenan was much older than the age of himself and the wizards combined. "I though you only gave advice to those Myth students."

"I engage myself in activities that I wish." His tail lazily flicked back and forth behind him. "They came up to me and requested to use this area, and as I can move through here as I please, I allowed them and offered my services. As you know, there hadn't been much going on after the recent chain of events, but it's best not to be hasty."

"I see," Private Guildenstern replied. "Alright then. Be sure to clean this up before you leave, though."

"Alright, we will!" Ryan said. "See you again sometime!"

"Ah, you too." Guildenstern moved towards the opening, and the other guard followed. "Goodbye!"

Once they had left, Paige groaned, "You are such a suck up."

"And as much as a poor fibber as your younger kin," Xenan added, eyebrow raised. "Perchance this is not to be my opinion, but I would have not believed that lie for one second."

"Oh, shut up," Ryan grumbled. "At least, since it'll take a day until our teleportation turns back on, Xenan doesn't have teleportation magic, and Paige doesn't like teleporting, we can stop waiting here-"

"The crowd's disappeared," Paige snarled, one of her boots scorched as she scrambled to get back in through the opening. "And we won't be able to get out, because there are there are bloody. Fire bats. _Outside!"_

_"What?"_

"How?"

"It does not matter _how. _If you could wait a moment and allow me to just take aim and shoot them-"

"No Xenan, we're _not shooting them-!"_


End file.
